I love you Autumn

Autumn is my favourite season. I love autumn. It's not too hot, but it's not too cold either. There is minimal humidity and it's the perfect time of the year to party around. Unlike spring, there's no disease spreading viruses roaming around in the air. I feel it's even the most beautiful season of the year. Oh! The nature's bounty. The hues all around cheer me up. Everything is just perfect.

Here are a few pics I clicked today from our hostel garden. I just couldn't keep myself from praising the beauty of these flowers.

And I just came accross the perfect poem for my perfect season.

 To Autumn

-John Keats

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

  Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.

Where are the songs of spring? Ay, Where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

My not-so-secret Wishlist

I have always been a fan of Preeti Shenoy’s books. (I have read them all). I love her blog too.She is one of my inspirations. She works really hard to be a good mom as well as a good writer. The best thing I like about her is that we never get to know any of her life’s problems through her blog, or twitter or facebook. She is a lady whose writings spread happiness.
So, a few months ago, I read her book- “The Secret wishlist” and finally I have come up with my own wishlist. It’s huge, and a new point adds up everyday. Well I am a girl who lives in her own fantasy world, and being a 20 year old, I have my own dreams. So here’s my wishlist (please don’t call me crazy)-

Now that I have got a job, I have decided how much money to save every month. I am well aware of the fact that everyone makes plans on how to spend their salary, but I will quote my dad- “A person who doesn’t know how to save money from the first day they get their salary, can never end up learning how to save money.” So in a few years, I plan to have a huge savings.

When I join my job, I want to work really hard and stay long hours at work. I plan to take very little vacation. I want to be the kind of career oriented person you see on television.


I want to visit all of India before I get married.


I want to go on a tour to Europe for my honeymoon. It’s a romantic place and has a rich history and my friends who have been there loves it. (See those savings in point 1 actually makes some sense now)


I want my daughter to grow up and become a doctor. So I guess we have pretty much established the fact that 
I have planned about kids too.

I want a brother or sister for the daughter in point 3. And I want one of my two kids to be adopted and I want to have both kids before I am thirty-five so that there’s enough time for them to settle down before I retire.


I want to stay in a house by the time I am thirty, not an apartment, but a house. It will have a backyard and it’s going be in a very calm and loving neighborhood.


One room in my house is strictly going to be my library. With lots and lots of shelves of books. And there’s gonna be my big study table and a big chair.


I want to learn swimming, and to play the guitar, and I want to learn Salsa.


I want my name to be in Wikipedia before I turn forty.

Tough Decisions

...........Sometimes you have no explanations for your actions

The world seemed to stop turning for her. Her first crush, the guy who has been evading her dreams for three years, had finally proposed to her. He was the one she was saving herself for. She was a girl who had the world at her feet. Still she has rejected innumerable proposals even though she knew that he was committed, that he loved her girl a lot and he could never be hers. Still she had kept her hopes high. Somewhere she had read that if you have a crush on someone for more than 4 months, you are definitely in love with that person. She has now been in love for three years. She has realised what she felt for him was something real, something more than just a little teenage fantasy. She could not just stop thinking about him.

The first time she heard his name, a bell rang in her ears. She didn’t know why, it was a pretty common name. As soon as she heard his name being called, she reflexively started shifting her eyes from here and there trying to get a glimpse of him. Then she was in first year of her college. He was a year senior. She didn’t get to see him. She didn’t know why she remembered his name even a few days later.

Second year, she had forgotten that incident, she had forgotten him. But when she received a text message one evening which said she had been assigned a project with him as her direct mentor, her heart skipped a bit. Was it destiny? There was meeting that day where all the second years were supposed to be introduced to the mentors. She was excited. She went there and sat silently, one amongst the timid juniors, her eyes scanning everywhere for him. But he wasn’t there. She didn’t know the names of any senior out there, but she knew that none of them was him, else she would have known. She was upset.

He did come to the meeting, a little late though. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. She was scared of him though, she didn’t know why. Maybe because he seemed too serious, too simple, the no-nonsense type. She didn’t talk to him, but she just couldn’t get him out of her mind. While leaving the meeting room she even turned back to get a glimpse of him. Her feelings were getting stronger, she didn’t know why.

Few months of work and the boundary between them started fading. Any work he got, he used to transfer them to her. Any problems she faced, she used to go to him. The fear she had started shedding off. She started liking his simplicity, his indifference, his carefree-ness. They went past the professional barriers and became friends. He too started relying a lot on her.

She learnt that he had a girl-friend, he loved her a lot. Her dreams and hopes were shattered. She had never let him know about her feelings. She tried dumping her feelings; she tried moving away from him. But she didn’t know why she couldn’t get away.

She met another guy. She got into a relationship with him. She loved him passionately. She decided never to think about her mentor again other than work.

One day, from nowhere he came back, back in her life. All her determination shattered. She just couldn’t let him go. He was in a mess with his relationships and everything else. He tried getting closer to her, she let him. They grew very close to each other. All barriers were broken between them. She let him intrude into her territory. In the mornings, she felt guilty. She hated herself. She was being with two guys at the same time-One with who, she was in a committed relationship, the other who was just a close friend. He had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend- but none of that seemed to matter then.

A few months later, her relationship died. In the meantime he had got closer to his girlfriend. She was sad. But she couldn’t say anything, he was just a friend, whatever was between them didn’t have a name. Whenever she saw him with his girlfriend, she could feel herself turning cold, her heart ached, she couldn’t bear to see him with another girl. She tried staying away from them. But the girl seemed to pop up everywhere. Wherever she went, whatever she did, his girl was everywhere. She was starting to lose it all, She felt as if she was going into a deep dark depression.

In third year, she realised that nothing was worth this pain; she had to get out from it all. Her broken relationship and the indifference of her crush were eating her from inside. She couldn’t ignore either of them, but she realised she had to stay away from both of them. She got herself busy in other obsessions. For all the work related problems she faced, she didn’t go to him; she tried solving them herself.

Few months later she has moved on. She didn’t feel pain in seeing him with his girlfriend, though it did hurt her a little. Things started getting better between them. She was getting to know him better. She realised he wasn’t serious about his girlfriend, he was trying to get closer to her, she was letting him. Sometimes she felt his indifference towards her also. Still she couldn’t love him less.

After the submission of their project paper, he took her to a restaurant where he popped the question. He told her how much she meant, to him, that he has met no one like her. He told her that he could open as frankly before her as his best friend, he couldn't do that before anyone else. Her heart stopped beating; she didn’t know what to reply. This was what she had wanted for three years; this was what she was struggling for. After a long pause, she replied- ‘No, I am sorry.’

As she was returning back that night, she didn’t know why she said that, but she felt a strange calmness surrounding her...

Bad Days vs Good Days

Inspired by a blog post by PeeVee I felt like writing this post after the coffee incident today while I was still crying...

Some Days...

You don't hear the alarm go off as you have a bad cold and fever. Your  roommate kicks you out of bed and you realize that it's already a good one hour late for work , you curse yourself for staying up late last night. There's no water flowing from the tap and you have to get out of the house in your night-dress to switch on the pump and stand there for another 10 minutes else your landlord will kill you if even a single drop of water overflows from the tank. As you try closing the bathroom door, your little finger gets pressed in the hinge and the pain blocks your senses about what to do, and you close the door further instead of opening it, adding more to the injury. Your hair gets oily even though you had showered the previous night. You don't have time for breakfast and decide to grab a bite on your way to work. As you get out of the shop with a hot cup of coffee, a bike hits you from behind and you splash the coffee all over your favourite new white t-shirt and also burn another three fingers. Your eyes are filled with tears and all the bike-wala could say is 'Sorry'. You get back home and decide to call up your mother to ask how to get coffee stain out of a white dress and before you could ask anything, she starts gossiping about the neighbours and your dog, your eyes all the time staring at the stain making its way permanently inside your top.

You reach office two hours late. Your boss asks you to show your work and your codes decide to go against you and you are asked to go back home and rest as you are sick. As you try to sleep, all the people in the world suddenly remembers you and you get a call every 30 minutes, all you have to do is listen to all earthly news. You are hungry and there's nothing in the house, not even drinking water. You decide to cook something and it burns.  Your roommate decides to take you to the doctor in the evening. You slip while trying to board the bike as you have worn the wrong slippers. Your codes still don't work.

End of the day, you have to listen- Tere saath itne haadse kyu hote hai!!

Some Days...

Your roommates appreciate the food you cook. Your boss takes you out for lunch. You win all the matches of Foos Ball you play. You make new friends and they love you. Your roommate makes soup for your sore throat. You go out and have fun with your roommates. You talk to an old friend after a long time. Your codes work perfectly and you get a token of appreciation from your boss making your face light up with a smile. Your roommate comes home with a clean shaved face after two months :P. You go for grocery shopping and realize that the prices have dropped. You get nice dreams in your sleep. :)

P.S. I am going to miss Bangalore a hell lot!!!

What is happiness?

Read a blog post on this a while back, so thought of sharing my own answers.

Happiness is knowing that time and distance can't make you apart.

Happiness is watching a baby grow

Happiness is cherising the treasures you have

Happiness is meeting old friends after a long time

 Happiness is knowing that someone misses you when you are away

Happiness is watching a city from the top of a mountain

Happiness is getting crazy with roommates

Happiness is meeting your favourite fictional characters

Happiness is watching a flower bloom

Moving On

“Don’t let today’s disappointment cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dream”

It is always hard to end a relationship, but the hardest part follows later, moving on. There’s no easy way, you will always try to get back there, hope everything becomes the way it was before. You feel a strange vacuum in your heart and desperately try to fill it. Don’t talk to the person no matter how much you want to, block him on facebook, Gmail and other social networking sites, and delete his number from your phone. No matter how much your heart wants, don’t look back and falter, let your brain rule for once. Keep away from anything that deals with the person.

In my case it was different. I tried being the strong one, stay in touch with the person and keep smiling. No matter how hard it may seem, no matter how much I cried inside, I didn’t let my sorrows show on my face. I never let anyone know what I was going through.

It pains, it pains a lot. I know because I have been there, done that. But with time the pain eases. It may take a day, a week, months or even years. For me it took a whole year and four months.  It took me a lot, I drowned myself in work, I blogged a lot, wrote the first draft of my first novel, book reviews, learnt web development, enrolled myself in extra courses, underwent internships.  Days were hard too, I silently cried while in class, not letting my tears show on my face, cried whenever my phone rang. Every morning I woke up I just wished the day would pass by and I would get back to sleep. I kept myself distant from people, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, I went to bed early and woke up late every morning with tears in my eyes. I read a lot, I read novels, I read other people’s blogs, I read articles on how much time it takes to move on and get along. A time even came when I didn’t want to write anymore.

And I can finally say proudly that I have moved on. I have emerged out stronger I am never looking back. Those days were just a bad dream, a lesson from life for me. And I am grateful for the friends I have, who make me laugh even in the worst of situations. I am thankful for the summer internship I have. The city of Bangalore has really brought me joy and I have the craziest roommates here who make me laugh all day, even when I am angry. Each moment in Bangalore is memory I will cherish for the lifetime.

 Some things are just not meant to be the way we want them. Over the years, through each storm I have been through, I have realised the fact that whatever God does is in our best interests.

Tantra By Adi

TITLE: TANTRA BY ADI
AUTHOR: ADI
PUBLISHER: APEEJAY STYA PUBLISHING
ISBN: 978-81-908636-2-9
GENRE: FICTION/THRILLER
PAGES: 335
SOURCE: BLOGADDA
RATING: 4/5

BACK COVER SAYS:
Anu is a leather wearing, no-nonsense professional guardian with a reputation for killing the most dangerous vampires in New York City. But when her enemies murder the one person she truly cared about, all she wants is vengeance. The only clue points to New Delhi, so Anu puts in for a job transfer.

In India, she finds more than she expected. For one thing, her fellow operatives had made a truce with the vampires. For another, it's way too hot to wear leather.

At first, it seems Anu's biggest challenge will be evading the nice boys her aunt wants her to marry. But when children start disappearing, she discovers forces older and darker than anything she's faced before. All of Delhi is in danger, especially the sexy stranger who sends Anu's pulse racing.

To prepare for this coming battle, Anu must overcome her personal demons and put aside years of training. This time, her most powerful weapon will come from her mind, not her weapons belt.

RAUMALI'S VIEWS:
As I picked up the book, I thought it would be another supernatural Vampire story, the same blood sucking demons fall in love with a beautiful girl, a place where everyone is supernatural except one or two and other crap. But a few pages later, I realised it was different. As I reached the end of the book, I was left mesmerised and hungry for more.

This is a thriller finally worthy of India's rich traditions and philosophy while still keeping connection with the modern reader. And most interestingly, the book showcased an Indian woman as a superhero who instead of falling in love with the vampires, goes out and destroys evil. Anu Aggarwal is shown as a strong woman who even left the men behind.

Anu is shown as a guardian (that is what they called vampire hunters) settled in New York. Circumstances lead her to New Delhi, where she stumbles up to stuffs she could never imagine of.

This book is totally different from the normal vampire hunter novels you have read before. Set in India, it integrates an Indian version of magic called tantra. It is an exciting read as we accompany Anu on her journey till the end as she braves many dangers lurking around her as well as the who arranged marriage business. The vedic knowledge and those of historical astras and mantras are really commendable.

The author has done his research really very well. Each and every page turned out to be a surprise. Truly speaking, I couldnot keep the book down even for one second. Each part of me kept me mesmerised and wondering what would happen next. Specially the rich Indian vedic history caught its hold on me.

Though sometimes in the middle it got a bit boring, I would still reccomend 'Tantra by Adi'  a must read.

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